Let's rewind without moving backwards

I wish it could always be just us.
Us two against the world.

...Even if that means only eating canned food and frozen pizzas.

Yes, we definetly do not live the most glamorous life but i enjoy it. With you as my company I feel complete. Please let's go back to the days when you hugged me for no reason and grabbed my hand just to hold it. I miss those nights where we did everything but sleep and those mornings when we woke up in each others arms.

Rewind time without moving backwards.

Tell me you loved me.

Even better, tell me if you still love me...

Consequences of Caring Too Much

Between me and you and I care too much. Always have, always will. Its my biggest fault.

Recently I have fallen for my greatest friends, not in a sexual way but definitely in love. Not in the kind of way that I wish to spend the rest of my life with them but in the kind of way that i worry about their choices and the consequences of their actions. Especially since their recent actions have crosses paths and may indefinitely lead to failure.

How do you tell a friend that their life choices are going to destruct the dreams of other related friends?

How do you pick which of your close friends to confide in more in order to protect them?

Or is this the time when I need to just step back and let them make their own mistakes?

Either way I guess I'll feel guilty... and since I'm known for caring too much, this feeling of guilt will eat away at me no matter which direction I choose... is there no correct answer or am I just too involved to make a proper decision?

Too many questions and not enough answers.
This sounds like life in general now that I'm proofreading this sad little post...
God damn life. fuck you and thank you.

xxox

Loved

With the past two days off I've had more time than usual to lay around and ponder what I'm doing with my life. To be honest there is not much to ponder since I'm not really doing much with my life. I guess you could say I'm stuck in a rut. a sad rut.. at age 22 I'm graduated from makeup school, working an unrelated part-time job as a hostess and dating a guy who treats me more like an annoying roommate rather than his girlfriend. I have friends here and I enjoy Toronto and city living but currently I am not seeing the potential in myself I was once so excited about.

The past few months have been tough. Really tough. Countless doctors appointments and sitting in boring waiting rooms alone with no ones hand to hold. Long shifts worked day and night. Growing bills and loans. Homesick days and lost friendships. Too many drunken nights and rough mornings. Many regrets and not enough accomplishments.

....and then he hugs me and none of the above matters.
How does that happen?

When I need it the most and least except anything from anyone, he knows.
So at least for now I don't just feel like an annoying roommate or a shadow of who I used to be... for now I feel loved.

Isn't feeling loved in this strange world the entire point of living?
If not, what is?

I guess a little touch of inspiration wouldn't hurt right now either...

XXOX