Loved

With the past two days off I've had more time than usual to lay around and ponder what I'm doing with my life. To be honest there is not much to ponder since I'm not really doing much with my life. I guess you could say I'm stuck in a rut. a sad rut.. at age 22 I'm graduated from makeup school, working an unrelated part-time job as a hostess and dating a guy who treats me more like an annoying roommate rather than his girlfriend. I have friends here and I enjoy Toronto and city living but currently I am not seeing the potential in myself I was once so excited about.

The past few months have been tough. Really tough. Countless doctors appointments and sitting in boring waiting rooms alone with no ones hand to hold. Long shifts worked day and night. Growing bills and loans. Homesick days and lost friendships. Too many drunken nights and rough mornings. Many regrets and not enough accomplishments.

....and then he hugs me and none of the above matters.
How does that happen?

When I need it the most and least except anything from anyone, he knows.
So at least for now I don't just feel like an annoying roommate or a shadow of who I used to be... for now I feel loved.

Isn't feeling loved in this strange world the entire point of living?
If not, what is?

I guess a little touch of inspiration wouldn't hurt right now either...

XXOX